Garrett Quotes

Quotes that Garrett has said that are noteworthy, funny or just awesome.


M: What do you want your next birthday’s theme to be? Space? Because it’s out of this world!
G: That is the most basic space joke I’ve heard.
M: #Harsh!
G: I can give you more burns!
G: The first time you told me it, I didn’t even think it was a joke!
D: Hello? 911? I’d like to report a murder.

Garrett – Age 7

You Squid?

Telling Dad Jokes is one of the best things in the world, especially when you’re a dad.

<Garrett is playing Animal Crossing>
G: Dada! I just caught a squid!
D: You squid?!

Garrett – Age 6

Old TV

(While watching live television)

Mama? Where’s the pause for this?

Garrett – Age 6

Dog Poop

<Mama and Dada are discussing what we’re doing for dinner>
G: What am I having for dinner?
D (jokingly): Poop!
G: I’m not having poop! I’m not a dog!
D: What? Wow!
G: Yeah, they just eat poop as a snack!

Garrett – Age 6


M: You look so nice and spiffy!
G: I feel flawless!

Garrett – Age 6